Feel so fcuking weak! Lousy me

Didn know it hurt so much.
Drink drank drunk. Hopefully
Take away this pain in me

No longer there's facebook
No longer this blog will be publish.
I will keep it in my heart.
Dont need to find about my news.
I will disappear from this minutes onward
Seen you like it, i will.
You want me gone.

Passerby:

Another thanks for you CJT.
You've super pull me down okay.
Move on? Sorry and thanks
Bu i'm telling you i not going to move on anyfurther
Not anymore now.
I now only can say i lost it all.
Even you ! And i actually telling myself i've not.
Thanks. Afterall this while.

Only you will cone this blog.
Nobody know abt this blog existence.
Thanks

Thanks ah.

Now then i realised,
I actually lose your moral support toward me.
Thanks and i lose it all.
Even your support, i lose myself.
Real hard really real hard. I cant find anything to comfort me
Not even a single soul.
I hate chan jia en this fuckin person.
Not even a person trust me, not even you.
CJT.

Do take care when you're out sailing.
Do be careful.
I lost it all, even my only pillar in my mind
I thought you understand, i thought
But you dont believe it.

Can you just tell me.

Am i a nothing to you now?

You no longer care, we no longer text, no longer smile

我知道是我的错。
我真的很想发给你可是我害怕了

Just leave me to die better.

I can't define who is true and who is fake.
I can't believe whether to trust or not trust.
I began to doubt my ability to do thing or say.
Maybe i shouldn't have be out here ,
Maybe i shouldn't have appear.
Maybe i should say a bye.
I've lost all the battle.

Take care.
This is me, my life, my chaotic life i causes

I wonder how are you.
I wonder what are you doing.
I wonder where are you.
I wonder who are you with.
I dont have the courage to text you.
I think i lose it all after hearing and seeing you like this.
I lost it all at that night.
I wonder do you hate me
I wonder have you give me up. Siigh
Evrything now i'm wondering.
I'm scare but i miss you.
Where are you?
Our promises is it still there?
Just a text from you make me feel safe.
But i think it didnt even have.
I am worried you dont care anymore.
Day4

I wonder how are you.
I wonder what are you doing.
I wonder where are you.
I wonder who are you with.
I dont have the courage to trxt you.
I think i lose it all after hearing and seeing you like this.

I pray hard for your verdict.
Pray hard that nothing happen.

When you say dont need to text me when reach home
My heart hurt.

I saw you.
Wanted to talk to you more.
Wanted to run to hug you.
Wanted to just see you is enough.

I miss you day 2.

Wow . Is year 2010 back to update.

I dont know whether it's a good thing or bad.

Finally, i decided to give up everything .
Too much thing happening around me.
I lose alot of things in between al this matter
My best good sister , cynthia tan & tham yi tian
Do you all know how much i miss you both.
Everytime i miss, everytime i sad
I tend to look at the photo that we've taken.
It's like a never ending hurricane.
The will to survive in it , i have officially lose it all.
Do take care all of you. Really must.

Anyway, a sidenote
I bought a havanians slipper cos it broke.
I finally choose a colour out of all .

I chooses red
Reason is it had a significant meaning to me.
It's his favorite.

I just realise that you want me to move on forward
But sad to say,
I am not moving forward nor move on
But retreating backward to hide in a place or find a suitable place.

If i ever have a chance next life,
I would choose not to know you or you are my enemy
Because i have hurt you so much all this year.
It hurt me to see you suffer. It hurt me to know you're suffering alone.
If you're my enemy, at least i still can know how ur life is going
At least i still can yearn to see the smile on your face.
The smile that i first met in the first place which brought me to you.
I miss that. Please take care my dear.
You will never know what is going to happe next.
Jiayou in everyyhing you do.